Sunday, April 1, 2007

Only God

Just last Sunday Clay and I still did not know the sex of our baby. I would say that the great majority of our friends and family (not to mention the Chinese Pregnancy Calendar) thought and/or predicted that we were having a girl, so it came as quite a surprise when we found out that he is actually a baby boy!
Looking at our baby through the ultrasound was an amazing experience, hardly worth the words to describe it. Seeing all four chambers of his heart, his spine, his brain, his hands and feet with tiny fingers and toes, his movement... I loved watching him move his arms and feet, changing positions; my favorite part was watching him pull his elbows and knees in as he got cozy in the "fetal position". The moment she told us he was a boy I couldn't hold back the tears. I couldn't help but imagine the future, wondering about his personality, his looks, his abilities and gifts... I was humbled by the evaluation that thus far, he is a perfectly healthy baby. It is only God. I am completely in awe of the work of God, knitting our child together as only He can. Only God is all-knowing and all-powerful and perfect in everything He does. No purpose of His can be thwarted.
Now that we know his sex, we almost feel as if we know more of his personality. I have begun feeling him move, not necessarily feeling a kick or an elbow, but movement in general. I have described it as feeling like an eye twitch, or any muscle twitch for that matter, only in my abdomen. I feel it several times a day, mostly when I am sitting still in my desk at work or lying down watching tv or sleeping. Matter of fact, I just felt him twice as soon as I wrote that. Even though the feeling is so small, it is still exciting knowing that it is him.
And I am DEFINITELY starting to pooch. I get such varied responses-- some saying that I hardly look like I'm showing at all, others saying that I'm pooching more than they thought I would. So, who knows? I certainly can't fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes, but maternity clothes still swallow me. It has been so frustrating trying to find something to wear every day! And yet I can't and don't want to complain because I'm just SO excited about our baby boy! I'll do whatever it takes!
Oh, and speaking of that, I am done with the nauseous feelings! Praise the Lord! That was one of the hardest things I have experienced, but it is absolutely worth it, without question.
I guess that's all for today...