the leaves and the tree

i have been wanting to and meaning to update my blog for quite some time now... i don't know how time slips by so quickly-- there is hardly time to sit still, to reflect, to share, to live deliberately. there are so many things i want to do with my unscheduled time-- phone calls to important people in my life that i do not talk to enough, projects for our house that i want to start or finish, sitting here in front of the computer sharing my life, reading one of the tens of books i want to read... i wish there were more days in the week or more hours in the day!
it was very interesting that last night clay and i were talking about how humbled and blessed and thankful we are to have such rich fellowship in our lives and that as i was reading The Calvary Road before falling asleep, that very issue was addressed again. "as the spokes get nearer the center of the wheel [God], they get nearer to one another." 1st John insists on testing the depth and reality of our fellowship with God by the depth and reality of our fellowship with our brothers. the only way to find real fellowship with God and man is to live out in the open with both.
how easy it is for us hide our inner selves, to put on appearances, to excuse ourselves... and how difficult to give up our privacy, our pride, our reputations in the name of transparency. when we do not share the truth about ourselves with God and others we end up not knowing the truth about ourselves.
how thankful i am for my monday night girls, for the fact that we are open and honest with one another about our lives, our fears and disappointments and sins, and that we walk away strengthened, encouraged, and challenged as a result (and "funny" that we were just talking about that this week).
i remember jim doggett talking about christian fellowship on the singles retreat two weeks ago, describing it in terms of a fall tree. each individual leaf is unattractive-- not brilliant, full of holes on its own-- but the whole is tremendous, working together to create something brilliant and breathtaking. may we work together in this way.