It's midnight here in Columbus (I'm here for my nephew Christopher's 6th birthday), and I'm so tired that my eyes are stinging. I'm staying up just a few minutes longer to put down some thoughts on this frustrating day.
The Lord is clearly doing something in Clay's and my life. We have spent, so far, $2500 on car repairs in the last two months. I say "so far" because there is a good chance we may be forced to spend even more tomorrow. Since buying my Volvo, it seems to have been one repair after another-- big problems, not minor ones. It is confusing and frustrating because buying the Volvo was a prayerful decision; we felt as if we were led to this specific car for several reasons. But why would the Lord lead us to a car that, so far, appears to be a LEMON? I confess that I do not understand His ways. Clay and I have worked so hard over the last two years to get ourselves out of debt, to be good stewards, our finances pleasing to the Lord. And He has been a very faithful Provider, enabling us to do so. The moment we were debt free, the car troubles seemed to multiply-- both cars needing extensive repairs and maintenance. Yesterday, hundreds on the Volvo; today, hundreds on the Honda, and more Volvo malfunction on my way to Columbus. Every time I turn the ignition, I feel anxious about which malfunction light will light up. Will it be the "maintenance required"? Or the "check engine"? Or the "service"?
So, the spiritual wrestling over financial hardship continues. Why is the Lord allowing this? He could prevent these problems if He desired, but He does not. They continue, persistently and quickly. What is He teaching us? That we should not put our trust in money? That His plans are more important than ours? That He will graciously provide each and every time? To praise Him and be thankful in everything? Could this be spiritual warfare since deciding to go on the Puerto Rico Mission Trip, raising support to do so? Verses flood my mind: "Do not be anxious for anything...", "My God shall supply all your need according to His glorious riches...", "Do not love the world or anything in the world...", and on and on.
I know that He has never failed us yet. I know of no Christian He has failed. He has provided, as only He can, in each hardship and circumstance-- the house, each car issue, for our Mission Trip, for a wonderful trip to California, to free us from debt, with extra income and gracious gifts from others. I do believe that He is in control, that He is good, and faithful, and gracious, and merciful... I believe that He is Holy, that He desires holiness in us, that He will do what it takes to make us more like Christ and less like the world...
"Those times when the Lord graciously invited my testing and even more graciously proved true and firm have furnished anchor points in my faith. My faith has become less mine and more His-- and all the more reliable for that", wrote Janie Cheaney in an article I am sure I supernaturally came across this afternoon.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Out of the Wind
Ok... One more entry about Mere Christianity, and I promise it will be the last. I know there has only been one other, but I recognize that those of you who read my blog may tire of it more quickly than I. As a matter of fact, I just finished the book, and I recommend it. So here's the quote that seemed to make a strong enough impression on me that I'd like to share it:
"The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes
the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at
you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back;
in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger,
stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural
fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind."
From these moments the new life will spread through us. We must hand over our whole selves to Christ. We cannot remain ourselves. For C.S. Lewis, this is the whole of Christianity. There is nothing else.
Clay and I are watching the American Idol Finale, cheering on Taylor Hicks, so I'll keep this one short. SOUL PATROL!
"The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes
the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at
you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back;
in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger,
stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural
fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind."
From these moments the new life will spread through us. We must hand over our whole selves to Christ. We cannot remain ourselves. For C.S. Lewis, this is the whole of Christianity. There is nothing else.
Clay and I are watching the American Idol Finale, cheering on Taylor Hicks, so I'll keep this one short. SOUL PATROL!
Monday, May 1, 2006
I am reading C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity and cannot help but share some of the profound insights he presents...
He says, "When the real want for Heaven is present in us, we do not recognise it. Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise. The longings which arise in us when we first fall in love, or first think of some foreign country, or first take up some subject that excites us, are longings which no marriage, no travel, no learning, can really satisfy... There was something we grasped at, in that first moment of longing, which just fades away in the reality."
And continues, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world... Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing."
He encourages us, on the one hand, to be thankful for these earthly blessings, but on the other, to understand that they are only a copy, or echo of "that other country".
I myself find this to be true, to resonate so deeply and clearly in my own heart and life. Even in the best possible experiences-- the best marriages, most excellent travel, most interesting learning-- something has evaded us. It is my desire for my true home, which I shall not find until after death. I must press on to that place. As a Christian, I was meant to look forward to eternity. Praise the Lord for this Hope!
He says, "When the real want for Heaven is present in us, we do not recognise it. Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise. The longings which arise in us when we first fall in love, or first think of some foreign country, or first take up some subject that excites us, are longings which no marriage, no travel, no learning, can really satisfy... There was something we grasped at, in that first moment of longing, which just fades away in the reality."
And continues, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world... Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing."
He encourages us, on the one hand, to be thankful for these earthly blessings, but on the other, to understand that they are only a copy, or echo of "that other country".
I myself find this to be true, to resonate so deeply and clearly in my own heart and life. Even in the best possible experiences-- the best marriages, most excellent travel, most interesting learning-- something has evaded us. It is my desire for my true home, which I shall not find until after death. I must press on to that place. As a Christian, I was meant to look forward to eternity. Praise the Lord for this Hope!
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