13 weeks

I am trying to be better about blogging more consistently, but this is a hard season to achieve that goal. I feel so sick almost all day every day. Other than this being one of the most exciting, most anticipated, most wonderful things that has happened to me, it has also been the hardest thing I have ever experienced physically. It has been harder than chronic headaches and migraines, harder than my heart racing at 250 beats/minute randomly over the course of several years (and the procedure that fixed it), harder than any of the viruses, food poisonings, car/sea sicknesses, etc... I think the reason it has been harder than any of these things is the length and extent of the sickness. I have felt almost constantly nauseated for 8 weeks now. I feel almost no relief except when I have food in my mouth or when I manage to fall asleep. It is hard to complain about it, though, because I am thrilled about what it means, about the sweet baby growing in my tummy. If I must endure this nausea in order for God to accomplish His purposes for our child, I am more than happy to. God is growing a human, our child that He has chosen for us, in my body. He is forming it, feeding it, protecting it... through me. That is all that gets me through; that, and knowing that more than likely the end of the nausea is near. I am 13 weeks today, and most people have told me they began feeling better between 14-17 weeks or so. I can't wait for that day for myself!
Other than the nausea and fatigue, pregnancy is slow to show itself! I am not "showing" yet; I notice a "bump" and that some of my pants are getting a little tight, but no one else can see it yet. I do not yet feel the baby move (it is supposedly only about the size of a lime right now), and that may still be several weeks away. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat again next week at the doctor!
Other than pregnancy, Clay and I are gradually getting settled in our new home. We have painted 4 of the last 5 weekends; all we have left is what will be the nursery. It has been the perfect time to be couped inside painting (or being sick) because of this FREEZING and miserable weather! I am already so ready for Spring and Summer!

Made

I am pregnant...and we can finally tell everyone! We found out the day we moved, December 21st, that I am pregnant. I had to blink my eyes several times to be sure of what I was seeing on the pregnancy test. Yes, two lines. Two lines! All of a sudden I forgot everything I had learned while working at OBGYN, South during the last two years. Did two lines mean positive or negative? I called Clay at work and told him I thought I was pregnant. I was shaking I was so excited; I was pacing the floor. We celebrated together for a few minutes.
I called my friend and confidant at OBGYN, South, and she confirmed that two lines was indeed positive! Dr. Ross, my OBGYN, wanted me to sneak in the office later that afternoon for a quick peek on the ultrasound. During the ultrasound we saw a tiny black circle in my uterus... it was my growing womb. I was only approximately four weeks along, but I was pregnant!
We packed our entire townhouse (except for our mattress) into the moving van that night. The next morning we began cleaning and unpacking into our new house. We could not have accomplished everything we did without the help of our family and friends. We spent one night in our new house and left the next morning for Christmas with my family in Columbus. We were not planning on telling anyone about the pregnancy for several weeks, but Julie, my sister, came across a picture of my positive pregnancy test on our digital camera. Oops. We decided to tell my family that night; we wrapped the ultrasound picture like a present for my mom to open. Everyone was so excited!
The next afternoon we left Columbus and headed to Clanton to share the news with Clay's family. We visited and ate with them as if nothing was going to happen. Near the end of the night, we gave his mom a "thank you present for helping us move". When she opened the box, she could not speak because she was so excited she was crying. Once again, everyone was so excited!
Other than telling our families and a few close friends, we have kept this incredible news to ourselves for 6 weeks! We heard the baby's heartbeat on Monday, a healthy 174 beats/minute, and decided it was time to share the news with everyone! We are so excited and already feel that this child is a gift from the Lord. I cannot wait to meet him or her! I read every week about the progress and development of the baby. It is hard to believe that there is a tiny human growing inside of me; the baby has hands and fingers, can move his/her elbows and knees... It is such a miracle. Psalm 139 has never rang more true:
"For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me
when as yet there were none of them."
(v.13-16)

I am thankful that He is Sovereign and I am not.
I have been very nauseated since 5 1/2 weeks; that part is very hard. I HATE food, but it is the only thing that makes me feel better. I pretty much don't like any food unless it hits me right at the moment. There isn't one particular thing I have craved, but I like salty rather than sweet, which is very unusual for me. I feel worse at night than any other time of day; I can hardly sleep I am so nauseated. I CAN'T WAIT for the nausea to subside. The only thing that gets me through the nausea is knowing I'm enduring it for our baby. I would rather be sick and have a healthy baby than not.
Well, I've written enough for tonight... there are so many thoughts and feelings...