2 years old... or young

our little boy is 2 years old. it does not seem so long ago that he was only 2 weeks, or 2 months...

but 2 years?!

now that we have 2 children, i find myself saying "remember when?" as i watch them grow simultaneously. on clayton's birthday, i look at turner, and remember when he was her size. just 2 years ago. he really is such a big boy, especially when i remember when... and i know that years from now he will seem like such a little boy when i then remember when he was just 2.

but for today, he is a big boy.

clayton's friends charlie, and will, and matthew help him open presents

clayton loved veggie tales this year, so bob and larry donned his cake

baby sister enjoyed the party in gg's arms

celebrating

in those first few days and weeks of turner's life, we were surrounded and supported by our families. my sisters and their families were in town not only to celebrate turner's birthday, but their birthdays as well... my nieces and nephews got to meet and enjoy their new cousin... clayton had many playmates to keep him busy and happy while clay and i were busy learning and caring for turner... what a happy time for everyone!

our new family of four

turner, only 4 days old, looks tiny in this picture!

if anyone ever read my journal (heaven, forbid), this is what they would see written on 01.27.10.

i. need. grace.

bad.

i won't have a pity party and go into all the reasons i needed grace at that moment, on this day, but for any other moms of young children, i am sure it is not hard to imagine.

when i wrote those words, i was talking to God. He answered. psalm 68:19 came to mind immediately.

"blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up..."

those words came to my heart like good medicine. i studied a little further and read this:

"listen to me, o house of jacob, all the remnant of the house of israel,

who have been borne by me from before your birth,

carried from the womb;

even to your old age I am he,

and to gray hairs I will carry you.

I have made, and I will bear;

I will carry and will save."

isaiah 46:3-4

He cares for me. His care is constant. He knows my needs. He bears me up and carries me.

big brother

there was much more to come home to this time... there was big brother.

clay and i were not sure how clayton would respond to turner. he does not like change, and he is a very sensitive soul, which made us wonder if adjusting to "sister" being around would be hard for him. in some ways i think it was hard, but for the most part, he was excited about turner.

he wanted to be near her

he wanted to "help" and hold her

he wanted to hug and kiss her

i have a feeling these two will one day end up the best of friends... (i know, i know, and the worst of enemies)

clayton is such a good big brother. he loves turner very much. he doesn't know life without her anymore. and that makes us happy.

home

coming home from the hospital with turner was a mostly different experience than coming home with clayton. but some things were the same.

we were nervous about coming home with clayton... we had no idea what to expect... and yet we were thrilled to come home to begin our new life as a family, with our son...

we were not nervous to come home with turner, but maybe apprehensive of the change and adjustment that having two kids brings... we knew more of what to expect from a newborn, of being a parent, but not so much about juggling two... we were filled with joy to come home to our life as a family of four, with our son and daughter...

"the lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy" psalm 126:3

this picture was not posed... nothing says "motherhood" like this photo.

this picture makes me laugh. great memory. and great having e here to help with the transition. we spent a lot of time in front of windows and outside in those early hours and days home, trying to minimize jaundice with natural sunlight.

Turner's birth day

even though this sweet day was almost six months ago, i want to recount some of the details of it for memory's sake. in some ways, July 21 seems like yesterday-- the first six months of Turner's life have blown by; in other ways, I can hardly recall life before she was born...

Turner's actual due date was July 24, but as with Clayton, Dr. Ross scheduled an induction three days early because conditions were favorable to do so. (i am convinced i will never go into labor without being induced!) i was given instructions to call labor and delivery very early in the morning on the 21st to make sure there was still room for my induction... when i called, i was informed that my induction was not on the schedule, that there had been some sort of error, that they were not sure there would be room, and to call back in one hour... what?! i am still not sure what happened, but after a nerve wracking hour of waiting, the l & d staff graciously allowed us to come in to induce labor. whew. from that point on, the day, the labor and delivery, was textbook, which was nice after Clayton's difficult delivery.

after only 7 hours of labor, Turner Grace Conner made her appearance in our world at 2(ish) p.m., weighing 7 lbs., 8 oz...

unlike her brother, she made her entrance known, with a very loud set of screaming lungs. i hoped this was not an indication of things to come... and thank goodness, it was not!

like her brother, holding my baby girl for the first time was an experience bigger and better than words can express. daughter. completion. satisfaction. devotion. life. love. in love.... my mind still races thoughts of what it means to have a daughter-- the layers of life and love and relationship that at once exist and have yet to exist. femininity. intimacy. legacy.

my capacity for love grew exponentially the moment i held her in my arms. we are blessed beyond measure by this sweet baby girl that God has graciously entrusted to our care.

hello

so i abandoned my blog...

i have let this thing get dust all over it...

and now i finally feel like i want to go back and remember and record memories of some things that have come and gone since this thing grew mildew...

so, hopefully, here we go again...

later (it's late and i'm tired). here's to hoping this check-in prompts creativity and commitment and brings accountability...

goodnight.

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